The Funny Business of Sex Scenes 😜

Hey Fabulous Readers! I hope your summer has had some lovely bits in it, so far.

I’m going to start with a listing of my Spooky Season events 👻

It’s a strangely short list at present, but that’s because either I didn’t book things back in April/May (for places that have their shit together) so I am annoyingly waitlisted for a number of events, or I’m still waiting to hear back (from the places that don’t have their shit together.) It has been entirely frustrating. I started the process of planning my September/October right after I got back from Hellmouth in June, and I was too late for some events and too early for others. I need to make copious notes for next year’s planning, obviously.

Right now, the schedule is:

🎃 The Dark Forest Oddities Expo - September 6^th  

🎃 Pandemonium’s Spooky Geek Faire - October 20^th (link coming in a future newsletter)

🎃 Possibly doing a reading at my local public library on the week of Halloween (I just need the event coordinator to get back to me)

None of my local events that would have a good customer base for me are having vending at their October 31^st events, so on Great Pumpkin Day I will just do my annual tradition of taking the day off and carving a huge-ass pumpkin and then handing out candy. I’m conflicted because Halloween is on a Friday this year, and I would really have liked to work a fun event. But at the same time, taking the day off to observe my goth High Holy Day is probably much better for me.

So now that you have marked those in your calendars…

My most recent article for Publisher’s Weekly Booklife!

Honest, I swear, I didn’t actually intend to write about sex! When I asked Booklife what they wanted me to write for them next, they said, “Actually, an article on writing good sex scenes would be perfect,” and what else was I to do, except write an article that actually I am perfectly qualified to write 😁

It’s gotten some lovely compliments through, so I am very happy I wrote it, and I hope it helps some author write a better sex scene!

Ooey-gooey am’r

Here’s the most recent from my “Things I’ve Learned From My Characters” Series…

I know, I know. It’s so lovey-dovey. But if anyone deserves that, it’s Zoraida, who went through one of the more excruciating losses of love of any of the am’r.

(If you have no idea what I’m talking about, may I recommend to you Blood Triad, where Zoraida tells Noosh her heartbreaking story…and then finds something unexpected…)

My next item is a plea for those of you who have read That Lesbian Vampire Pirate Story to drop a quick review of it on Amazon.*

Amazon treats books differently the more reviews they get. That is: the more reviews your book gets, the more exposure it is given. You can imagine how stressful this is for authors. When we need more exposure the most we don’t get it! Amazon is truly pure capitalism: the better you are doing, the easier it gets for you.

The myth of “hard work will reward you” doesn’t apply on Amazon (as it doesn’t really apply in larger capitalism, either). You can bust your ass writing a brilliant book, work hard to both get a great cover artist and afford to pay them what they deserve, learn all the tricks of optimally laying out a book and the cover to best attract readers, learn how to write the best and most appealing copy about your book, put in time and money learning how to find the best keywords and categories on Amazon, you can do everything, and your book will languish on Amazon, getting no sales, because you don’t have enough reviews to make it “count.”

This is why pretty much every newsletter now, I am begging you for reviews. I need lots of things to go right for me to succeed as an author, and many of those things are luck-based and not in my control (which is deeply frustrating for someone who is happy to do the hard work to get where she needs to go!), but one of the things that is proven to work, and which I have some control over is getting reviews for my books.

So part of my job is finding the ways to encourage you to take a moment from your day and post a review up on Amazon. I’m not asking for a huge time investment, even just writing a one sentence review saying you enjoyed reading the book is enough to boost the book’s value in Amazon’s cold, uncaring eyes.

This is what I hate most about being an indie author. Stephen King doesn’t have to beg for reviews. His publisher is doing everything they can to help him succeed. Which is in no way casting aspersions on Mr. King’s writing, it’s just that “Rank hath its privilege,” and he has gotten to a place where there is a whole machine set up to help him succeed. Indie authors have nothing to help us succeed, and writing good books doesn’t actually help us. Even the best, most incandescent writing can get lost because it just doesn’t have the money behind it to get it in front of enough eyes that it can start building its own momentum.

If you think my last sentence means that people who write mediocre books but have lots of disposable income to throw at marketing and promotion will see those books do better than great writers who don’t have money to throw at promoting their books, and who don’t hit a lucky moment where the right person in the right mood on the right day just happens across their book, you are thinking right.

And it makes me angry.  

But there is nothing I can do except try to learn all the tips and tricks I can to get the Blood & Ancient Scrolls series to that lucky moment.

And beg you for reviews.

* Noto Bene: Of course the ‘Zon is evil and it is regrettable that I must do business with them. For those of you who have sworn off them, please know that I envy your ability to do this, and for you the other three places where reviews can help me are:

📚 Bookbub

📚 Goodreads

📚 The Storygraph

Okay, that’s it for me for August. I’ll see you September 2^nd !

To everyone who made it this far, you’re fucking amazing and I adore you! Until next time, be good or be good at it! 😘

💭 I'd love to hear your thoughts, questions and feedback: drop me a note 📨

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